When Gail and I arrived in Torridon village on Friday evening we found the place a-buzz with camper vans, tents, and lithe and muscular humans, all assembled for the annual 'Celtman' extreme triathlon, to take place the following day.
It so happened that the route of our walk on Saturday afternoon coincided with a section of the final leg of the triathlon.
When I asked Gail why she had suddenly clamped on my lead she replied that if contestants had started the day at 4 am by swimming 3.4 km across Loch Torridon (c.11ºC), then cycled a hilly 200 km in rain and a gale force wind, and were now nearing the end of an even hillier 42 km run, they probably didn't want to be subjected to an enthusiastic terrier-style greeting (which may or may not involve some nipping at exposed calves).
It got me thinking. Perhaps we should organise our own 'Nobby and Gail friendly' event. 'Celtdog: the less Xtreme Triathlon' would be a good name. Here's my proposed programme.
1. THE SWIM: The human swims across the little bay (Òb a' Bràighe) just close to our cottage, with the dog barking encouragement from the shore. I believe the distance in the water is about 250 m. After the swim the human has a hot shower and a mug of hot chocolate while the dog replenishes his energy with bowl of dog biscuits. If the weather is really horrid, or the jellyfish too abundant, the human is allowed to paddle around the edge of the bay.
2. THE BICYCLE RIDE: The route goes from our cottage to the nearest café. The café is in Torridon village, a distance of 5 miles (8 km). The dog may either run along side or be transported in a basket attached to the handlebars or in a separate trailer. The human is permitted to dismount and push on the steeper sections. A suitable handicapping system will be devised based on breed of dog and subtly weighted in favour of fox terriers... The destination café is to serve the human with tea and large slices of cake, but only dog-friendly cakes are permitted as licking the plate will be encouraged.
3. THE RUN: Or walk. Along the shore path at the head of Loch Torridon then and a short distance on the road to end up in the very superior Torridon Hotel. Distance c. 2 miles, elevation gain < 10 m. On arrival at the hotel, participants - both human and canine - will be offered an unlimited selection from the restaurant menu, then can recuperate at their leisure in one of the luxury bedroom suites. The hotel's absurd restrictions on canine visitors will of course be suspended for the duration of the event.
Do we have any takers?
