The much anticipated debrief on DB

So Gail, let me remind you of our deal. I permitted you to give me a thorough bath and shampoo upon my return home and now, while I cuddle up all clean and fluffy on your lap, you are to tell me about how badly your friend Marse's dog DB behaved during your stay in Tacoma. Right?

Oh Nobby, but surely you first want to hear about what a splendid time I had with Marse, her kind and generous extended family, her lovely, entertaining friends and all three of the dogs, not just DB. And the comfy 'beach house' by Minter Bay, the delicious food (including some 'interesting' experiments with a new air-fryer), the beautiful - if admittedly rather damp - walks through the moss and fern-rich forests, the glimpses of majestic Mount Rainier, and the short but invigorating kayaking sessions?

Er, frankly Gail, no. I just want to hear about how DB is naughtier than me.  

Nobby, this is very mean spirited of you. Especially as DB cannot answer back (unless he trains his human to help him comment on this blog by logging into her Google account). I absolutely insist on first telling you about the two twelve year old pups also present, Josh and Charlie. 

Well OK then (sigh...)

Josh is a fine hiker despite his age and altogether a Good Boy who will only occasionally wander off and not return when summoned. Look, he even carries his own water and food in a little backpack (as does the much younger DB). 

And then there's dear Charlie, Marse's niece Zealon's beloved golden retriever. He is a big soft sweetheart who is suffering from tumour in the mouth and other health problems but still enjoys being petted and cuddled and never ever complains.

Enough already! Time to hear about DB. I gather he is a noisy passenger in the car? 

This, Nobby, is undeniable. DB is quieter after he has been for a good long walk, but at other times a muzzle is required to reduce the decibel level to a tolerable whimper.

Oh dear. I expect you are now grateful that I am always completely silent and calm when travelling. 

You have a point Nobby. 

And how are DB's manners when out on the trail? 

Well Nobby, like you, he's a good, strong and willing hiker. His encounters with runners and cyclists can be rather fraught - one might say his conduct is erratic, a word I often use to describe your  performance at your agility training sessions...

Gail, we are supposed to be focussing here on DB's bad behaviour here, and not my rare moments of mischief.

Let me see, what else then? He has the ability to rip to shreds any stuffed toy within ten seconds flat, but to my knowledge has never, unlike a certain wire-haired fox terrier, chewed up a pair of spectacles, a bank card, a parking permit or a pink highlighter pen.

Going off message again Gail! 

DB is, I think, rather large to be a lap dog but he doesn't know that. He is perhaps a little too affectionate with the kisses on the mouth, but that's hardly a crime, is it Nobby?

I guess not. Actually he sounds quite a decent chap. As does Josh. Oh how I would love to meet them both one day. I think we could even teach each other a trick or two. 

Now how much is that plane fare to Seattle again?