Dental hygiene - the wrong end of the stick

So I'm told I still have "work to do" on the dental hygiene front.

It started so promisingly. I grabbed this toothbrush off the kitchen counter and set to work, all on my own initiative.

 

I chewed long and hard. At one point I even ran out into the garden and would not let Gail take the toothbrush back.

Apparently I had "got hold of the wrong end of the stick". But even when I tried chewing the other end, Gail was not happy.

"NAUGHTY NOBBY! LEAVE IT ALONE FOR *****'S SAKE, THAT'S THE TOOTHBRUSH I USE FOR CLEANING MY BICYCLE CHAIN!"

When Gail approaches with what, according to her, is the proper tooth cleaning apparatus, I try to bite her fingers, and most of the toothpaste ends up in my beard.

PS from Gail: I've attempted to clean Nobby's teeth with a normal toothbrush too, but he's even more resistant to letting me near his mouth with that in my hand! He does get dental chews on a regular basis.